As part of Fringe Fest Erie this year, one of the shows is the GU Talent Show. I committed to participate in it without really knowing what I wanted to showcase. I don’t have any remarkable talents, as far I know. I initially thought, I could always sing something. But so many people sing during talent shows. So I nixed that idea and moved on.

I did just get new speed stacking cups and bought myself a flute. But I haven’t done speed stacking since 7th grade and haven’t touched a flute (apart from a few hours of practicing in the past few weeks) since 8th grade. After briefly talking with one of my friends, we thought it might be cool if I synchronized some sort of speed stacking routine to the “Alphabet Aerobics” by Blackalicious. Well, trying to synchronize cup stacking to the Alphabet Aerobics was a nightmare. I only imagine that the sounds emanating from my room sounded like someone who had gone mad, with Blackalicious rapping his alliterated verses at an increasing pace, the sound of cups becoming louder and faster and the resounding “Ahhhh!! Why?!” as the cups proceeded to fall and scatter all over my room.

I gave up on that endeavor after about 45 minutes. It was getting nowhere and I was thoroughly frustrated. So, I did what any logical person would do, I just went ahead and learned the “Alphabet Aerobics” instead. But then I happened upon something quite amazing, a beatboxing version of the Inspector Gadget theme song on flute.

Yes, flute. And what do you know, I just bought myself a flute a few weeks ago! But that ended similarly to my attempts at cups with the “Alphabet Aerobics.” The hour long session with my flute involved me spitting all over as I tried to beat-box, my flute making terrifying noises as I then tried to beat-box into it and me yelling, “Curses, Matthew Broderick!” multiple times. I had to play through the Russian Sailor Dance afterward to calm myself down.

Needless to say, I will not be beat-boxing on my flute for the show. My dilemma has only intensified. I can target shoot like it’s nobody’s business, but that’s not something I can do for a show (unless I follow my childhood dream of joining the circus). And last I checked, being able to identify any movie based solely on its film score is not performance worthy.

I am leaning toward being a cop-out and just singing for the show. If I am going to sing though, it’s not going to be just any run-of-the-mill song. It has be something unusual and funny, but beautiful at the same time. I am in a state of confusion and indecisiveness. It should be an interesting next couple of weeks. What do I do?
Maybe I will just go ahead and rap the Alphabet Aerobics. Or run off to the circus.