I’ve loved Valentine’s Day ever since I first set my eyes on an oversized stuffed bear holding a flower. I like to spread the ooey-gooey lovey vibes by making my friends those cheesy homemade cards surrounded by the lace doilies every year. In high school, I even carried around a bag of candy to hand out to random people in the hall. Yup, I was that girl.

Actual footage of me on Valentine’s Day.

Actual footage of me on Valentine’s Day.

Some people don’t share my love for Valentine’s Day. They prefer to sit at home and grumble how the whole holiday is a ploy by the greeting card company and love is meaningless and we’re all just dust in the wind, blah blah blah. I call those people “wet blankets.” Because I don’t want any of the lovely Edge Magazine readers to be labeled as such, I decided to construct a comprehensive guide to Valentine’s Day, whether you’re in a relationship, hanging out with friends, or single.

In a relationship

So you’ve found eternal happiness and are dating Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. Good for you! But here’s the problem: Valentine’s Day is notoriously expensive, and we’re a bunch of poor college students. To combat that, you have to find an inexpensive but still heartfelt gift.

  1. Public humiliation — I don’t know about you, but when I’m dating someone, I like to embarrass them as much as possible. Members of Alpha Psi Omega will be selling Singing Valentine telegrams for $5 each up until V-Day. You fill out a form, choose a song from the selection list, name a location/time and sit back and enjoy your valentine getting serenaded by a quartet of theater kids. Or, you can opt to cover their entire car in mushy Post-it notes.  Bonus points if you capture the whole debacle on film.
  1. IRL Chopped — The Edge staff loves the show “Chopped,” so obviously we had to include it in our Valentine’s Day plans. Go through your kitchen, select three weird items, and try to make a dish out of the ingredients together. If the meal ends up failing miserably, Papa John’s is having a special on heart-shaped pizza.

 Hanging with Friends

Significant others come and go, but friendship is forever. Celebrate Valentine’s Day with the people who voluntarily tolerate you throughout the year.

  1. Silly Card Barrage — Print off a bunch of those comic sans Photoshop valentines and hide them around your friends’ rooms. Hide them in cereal boxes, tape them to toilet seats, slide them in DVD cases. Hopefully, your friends will still be finding silly valentines six months from now.
I laughed at this for way too long.

I laughed at this for way too long.

  1. Get Outta Town! — Seriously. Get off campus. Plan a fun outing with friends. Go to the mall. Go bowling. Go sing karaoke. Go paint a clay pot at Claytopia. Go to a fancy restaurant with a big group of friends and split appetizers. Whatever you do, have fun and take pictures.

Single

Eh, so you’re ridin’ solo for Valentine’s Day. To quote Robert Randolph & the Family Band, “Ain’t Nothin’ Wrong with That” (Look it up. A+ song). You might feel like you’re the only one spending the holiday alone, but you’re definitely not. Remember, as I stated in a previous blog, there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. So, consider this some quality “me time.”

  1. Treat YoSelf 2K15 — “Parks and Rec” knows what they’re talking about. Stop scrolling through Instagram and whining at all the sappy Valentine’s Day posts and get off your couch. Change out of your sweatpants, wear something nice, do your hair, etc. Go to Starbucks (by yourself!!!) and order the frilliest drink possible. Then, order a pastry. Heck, order six pastries. Treat yourself. You deserve it.
  1. Complete a RAK — Otherwise known as a Random Act of Kindness. Brush the snow off someone’s car, “pay it forward” on a stranger’s coffee, hold a door open for a lady with groceries. You don’t even have to stop at one RAK. You can do RAKs on RAKs on RAKs for all I care.  Not only will you feel a lot better about yourself, but you’ll also make someone else’s day and spread the love.

Ideally, these tips will help some of you out during Valentine’s Day. Regardless of what you plan on doing, I hope you all have a great holiday and your parents mail you care packages filled with chocolate.